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There is a mute button, sometimes labelled, sometimes hidden, but try pressing them all.

Doesn't help much, but helps a little.

And then stick some unapproved sticker on the pump of your choosing.

The stickers are a good idea. I also wonder if there's a discrete way of permanently damaging a speaker, e.g. with a magnet or something that could fit discretely in the palm of one's hand.

stab them with car keys.

Cameras, my friend. It's going to have to be much more discrete.

Also, they're way ahead of us. They've got those monitors and speakers covered with thick plastic.

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