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Comment by malauxyeux | Hacker News Reader

Maybe not even having kids, but being engaged in something fully.

From neuroscience, there's the default mode network.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Default_mode_network

> It is best known for being active when a person is not focused on the outside world and the brain is at wakeful rest, such as during daydreaming and mind-wandering.

Apparently, activation of the DMN is correlated to rumination, itself correlated to depression.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31655111/

Interestingly, one thing often suggested to counter depression these days – meditation – generally says right on the tin that you're supposed to get into a wakeful rest state, but specifically try to avoid daydreaming and mind-wandering.

(I should say that I'm no expert. Just passing along things that I've heard/read.)

Edit: formatting

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Broadly speaking, engaging in a task activates the task-positive network, which actively suppresses the default mode network [1][2][3]. This likely happens during meditation [4], as during properly done meditation, one is supposed to be focused on the task of breathing. But this can be interrupted, particularly by stray thoughts/salience/attention shifts [5].

[1] "The human brain is intrinsically organized into dynamic, anticorrelated functional networks", https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.0504136102

[2] "The Brain's Default Mode Network", https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/10.1146/annurev-neuro-0710... {search for 'task-positive'}

[3] "Neural antagonistic mechanism between default-mode and task-positive networks", https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S092523122...

[4] "Mantra Meditation Suppression of Default Mode Beyond an Active Task: a Pilot Study", https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41465-017-0028-1

[5] "Modulatory interactions between the default mode network and task positive networks in resting-state", https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4017816/

There are many examples of people who are obsessed by work, and at the same time depressed. While the distraction can temporarily take away the depressive thoughts, it is by no means a solution. I think the social aspects of raising a kid could be a better explanation.

Might also be the additional social interaction (the kid is a human, even if a small one). I think many people felt this during the pandemic and its lockdowns.

I know some people that got dogs (and kept them thankfully). Having someone in your life who's consistently happy to be in your presence is a pretty good antidepressant.

I guess there was something in the old proverb.

“Idle hands are the devils workshop”.

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