Enjoy the quiet.
I use to fill up my day with listening to podcasts during all non-work time (e.g. driving in the car, exercising, even showering).
It overloads your brain if it's having to process info during every waking moment.
You brain just needs quiet time to think, relax and explore.
I'm way more relaxed, creative and find unique solutions to problems now, than before.
It's bonkers to me. I resolve so many of my own issues just... staring out the window, or staring at the ceiling.
I get that people are different, and we all have our different ways of going about things, but I just cannot imagine it is healthy to not let your brain "breathe" a bit sometimes.
I mostly sit with my noise cancelling headphones on, with no sound. And lately, I'm just moving towards not having them on at all when I'm not in meetings.
It's wonderful. There's a reason "silence is golden" after all. I actually still find classical music a bit distracting a lot of times even. A lot of the newer composers especially are particularly discordant.
But a motorcycle ride or a nice drive? Even doing the dishes? Now we’re talking! The mind and body are occupied in a mostly autonomus task so the rest of your brain can process and digest. It’s great.
Dare I say I almost enjoy doing chores now.
Another great option for me is boxing. For those 3 minutes in the ring, you are _not_ thinking about anything else. Whether you like it or not, your mind clears and focuses and only the sparring partner exists. It’s great.
You can get that level of focus on a motorcycle, but that gets a little dangerous for my taste. Maybe I should try going to a track.
YMMV especially if you’ve experienced some serious trauma.
It’s best to do DBT with a professional, but there’s a large community of DIY DBT practitioners out there. [1]
If your unable to investigate the source of some feelings (e.g. because your brain shuts down when you interrogate them) there is a new-ish practice for detangling your thoughts without all the interpersonal unpleasantness of Talk Therapy (that doesn’t mean it won’t be unpleasant in it’s own way).
It’s called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Again, working with a professional is best, but it’s possible to be successful with a DIY approach. [2]
Disclaimer: I’m not a professional in any form of health, mental or otherwise. I’m just a happy self-administered DBT & EMDR patient :)
I need to MOVE. I was not made to sit in silence and do nothing.
I was born to move, physically. After a long run, some weights, etc… I can sit and focus or be in silence.
To me the ability to sit in silence is just a test to see if you’re in a settled state.
Try going on walks, doing guided meditations, leaving your phone in another room and reading a book for 30 minutes. You'll find your brain slowly relax, think more creatively and in a more coherent fashion. It's painful at first, but it's the most important thing you can do.
But I also think that just sitting is a more advanced and more rewarding type of meditation. My belief is that it is a skill which can be practiced.
One technique is to go through each body part and relax it. Eventually it happens automatically.
I find it very difficult to sit in complete silence. It's as if the silence exerts some pressure on me. But I've recently discovered brown noise and it works wonderfully well for me.
It has become my go to sound/noise whenever I'm doing something that requires thinking. This is my favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P48QELwruQs
That's not what I'm suggesting.
What I'm suggesting is, when you drive - just don't have any music on. Just drive.
When you're showering, don't play a podcast - just shower.
When you're doing dishes, just do dishes quietly.
It's not dedicated quiet time. It's "don't fill in all parts of your day with information".
I find that if I need to be "attentive" then having something going on helps. For me it is podcasts while driving. Having nothing noise my mind tends to wander which isn't always ideal because my focus should still be on the road despite engaging my brain with passive knowledge.
But for the rest of your comments? I agree wholeheartedly. I used to have the headphones in walking dogs, listening to podcasts, but I've stopped doing that and find the time outside far more relaxing, because that is time I should let my mind wander and venture. At work? Music to fill the voids, but I mute it if I'm trying to roll over some sort of problem in my head. Other strategies such as leaving the desk or using physical mediums (writing / sketching problems in notebooks) help too, but that's not really where we're at in this discussion.
Ultimately I think people need to just be aware that how they troubleshoot and relax won't be the same as another's. But it takes discomfort and experimentation to find what works for you too. Try podcasts where you would use music. Try the opposite. Try nothing where you would try something. Find what helps, and always be willing to re-test with new/old atmospheres.
- When I was doing the dishes, I would immediately put a podcast on
- When I was waiting for my kid's music lesson, I would immediately grab a book to read
- When I was eating, I would always turn the TV on
- When I was sitting on the couch, to supposedly rest, I would put a music record on and I would also reach for my mobile phone to "catch up" or text a friend
- When I lie to bed, I immediately would grab my phone to browse HN
I realized that these were harmful habits that I subconsciously formed as a way to distract my mind from other thoughts that were causing stress and anxiety.
These days I'm more mindful about this and I try to just sit there by myself and just be. Kinda like meditation.
- Doing the dishes - podcast
- Walking in the lunch break - audiobook
- Cycling in the park - audiobook
After a couple of months I felt my brain is completely fried from that information overflow.
Now I don't even put my earbuds, unless I'm in a very noisy area and I need to focus on a work task.
I'd say what you describe is an active form of meditation. I do that now when swimming, walking, or simply having a coffee in the morning and looking at the ocean.
Finally, there is a fairly new book that suggests to stop listening to things at all waking hours, "STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World".
However I feel like this question falls into the "optimise every second of the day" thought pattern which kinda goes against the point.
Corporatism is not a random emergent thing. Occupational psychology goes back 100 years, and behavioral economics almost as long.
It’s all melodrama over the end of literal reality if we don’t burn ourselves out though.
it's really underdiscussed how averse people seem to just contemplation.
Another observation I've made is that the more time people spend consuming information, the more they feel compelled to talk. It's as if humans are programmed to share the information they've gathered. I'm certain that in the past, people eagerly listened if you had new information, but these days, everyone is constantly collecting new information. It seems like everyone wants to share/talk, yet no one wants to listen.
"If they don't stop exercising their mouths, their brains start working."
-- Douglas Adams
So many brilliant men in history are known for having walking routines. I'm not going so far as to say walking made them brilliant, but I do think it's likely it contributed to them being able to maintain the physical and mental health needed to be able to think deeply and communicate their thoughts to others.
Now I just enjoy the sound of silence. Sometimes I may put on some music quietly to drown out another background noise but always something I know well so that my brain knows it and doesn't spend time or energy processing it for the 1000th time. I've found it can be any music providing I know it well enough.
I actually listen to fewer podcasts now because of it but I am much happier about that as I seriously began to worry about how my brain needed constant stimulation.
I was unable to just be still in silence.
I worry a lot of us are just overloading our brains with constant stimulation leading to faster burnout and mental health issues but that is a conversation for another day!
If you're always jamming new media into your brain, it's like you're constantly writing to a hard drive without ever giving it time to defragment.
For me, this translates directly to “close this very tab.“ “Now.“ And I’ll do that, but I’ll hit reply first ;-).
And many times, it's overloaded with BS by the host. Suprisingly a lot of misinformation comes from many of HN's favorite influencers.