I simply wanted to make it clear that the pattern of abuse is not a cultural thing, it is a human thing.
I worry that my adding "but you probably know that" came across wrong and I wish I could go back and edit/delete that part. I added it because I thought my comment that non-Asians can show patterns of abuse was kind of obvious and I was acknowledging that it was obvious. It reads to me now like a snarky attack on your motives but it was not intended to be.
I'll take your word for it though that this is a prevalent pattern in Asian culture. I have worked for 26 years alongside Asians in the Bay Area, 50% of my managers in my career were Asian, I hosted an Asian as a foreign exchange student for a year ... I have never heard of this darker side of the culture.
While it may be prevalent among Asian cultures, it is absolutely not specific to them. To defend, and even praise an abuser is a common, human, cross-cultural response to abuse. It's a coping mechanism people use to justify the things that have happened to them, so they can carry on without having to face their awful experiences. It helps relieve them (temporarily) of the "double burden" the abused feel -- they had to suffer the abuse, and then they have to do the work to move past it. Easier to insist the abuser was right, and they themselves are at fault.
To insist this is somehow confined to Asian families negates the experience of people everywhere. The original post was about an Asian family, but unless everyone in here is also Asian, these comments only serve to reinforce the breadth and variety of people for whom this resonates.