Hacker News Reader

Comment by sbaiddn | Hacker News Reader

Call me a prude.

Call me old fashioned.

Call me small minded.

But watching a woman getting chocked while DPed in her anus while a half dozen men ejaculate on her is not the type of extra-curricular activity [1] I want my soon to be teenaged daughters' boyfriends interested in.

Im just... overprotective I guess.

[1] If anyone calls me out for knowing what's on the front page of all of these smut sites, guess what? We all know what's on those sites!

View on HN

I’m sympathetic to your argument, but consider the case where you remove the sex from the above picture. It is normal and not specially restricted to have violent torture-like scenes in modern media.

The problem isn’t the sex. The problem is the violence.

This kind of porn has been around for decades and very few people actually do that kind of stuff. Something that's published isn't automatically a role model.

And the ones that do are really and truly into it. Yes it happens, it's not my kind of thing either but I know some people that love it.

What helps more is real sex ed. Explaining what sex is about, how to respect a partner, about safety. Rather than really easily circumventable bans. I got good sex ed when I was young in the Netherlands and I turned out fine and very respectful to women just like my peers despite having access to porn. The problem are religious schools not wanting to do serious sex ed. So the kids only have porn to go by.

If you're that concerned about it you should talk to your daughter about the risks of consenting to group sex, and the risks of hanging out with boys who are interested in it.

All this content was available when I was a teenager and my friends watched it. Those who actually follow through with having group activities quickly find out that it's way different than porn and not really all that enjoyable anyway.

But high school kids are having less sex and, those that do, with fewer partners and it continues to trend down. [1]

So, assuming porn has any effect at all, it's possible highly available internet porn is decreasing the amount of sex kids are having.

The sexual violence trend on page 56 is concerning however it looks like the CDC has not been tracking that question as long either (only 4 year trend instead of 10+ like other categories).

Another concerning thing to me is the decreasing condom use, especially with current abortion trends. If we think porn drives behavior, maybe porn actors should be mandated to use condoms.

[1] https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/yrbs_data-sum... [Page 14 (17 pdf)]

>But watching a woman getting chocked while DPed in her anus while a half dozen men ejaculate on her is not the type of extra-curricular activity [1] I want my soon to be teenaged daughters' boyfriends interested in.

If this is consensual, it actually sounds rather fun. But it's interesting that the example is simply an amalgamation of relatively common things:

* Choking is a common kink * Anal sex is a common sex act * Group sex is at least a common fantasy; I don't know how common double anal penetration is outside porn though * Providing and receiving facials is also quite common as an alternative to spitting.

All of the acts are relatively innocuous on their own, but the combination is portrayed to be almost demonic :)

Function composition is the essence of perversity.

If you've ever taken a look at the "Popular with Women" category on PH or similar sites, it seems like women sometimes actively seek out more degrading porn than you might expect.

haha.. as if it would be her boyfriend's fault. Way to pass the blame.

Download the latest dating app - Feeld - and peruse for yourself what women explicitly state that they are looking for when the shame for stating so is removed/reduced.

Getting choked is a common fetish though.

Would it be as prevalent if minors weren't exposed to hardcore porn?

Does it matter? Why is it bad when people like getting choked and it's happening consensually?

Choking's sort of an interesting case for this, because it's one where someone should (ideally) also be doing it safely. Someone can enjoy it and consent to it, but not be sufficiently educated to do it without more risk than they realize. (This applies to many acts, but this one's particularly potentially-lethal.)

Porn, being a fantasy, rarely shows the prep-work required to do something properly. This is what I personally worry about when it comes to setting the wrong expectations in kids who haven't had that whole "this isn't representative of real sex" context properly set, leaving them thinking they can reproduce what's happening on-screen without realizing the background work required...

It's the same with Shibari, that's in fact a lot more dangerous than choking if not done properly. Because choking you can simply stop when you notice it's going wrong. A Shibari rope that isn't secured and suddenly slips to the neck takes time to cut.

Yet Shibari is viewed as an art form because it's much more stylish.

But people really into this kind of stuff are also very much into consent and safe practices. Is there really a wave of accidental chokings?

School shootings on the other hand... Maybe we should look at violent movies first?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com