Hacker News Reader

Comment by bad_user | Hacker News Reader

I'm a man. Personally I'd love to be judged by my sexy appearance, unfortunately I'm not sexy.

Also I don't get this line of thought. Many women (and men, but we are talking about women) love it when noticed for their appearance, that's why they dress well, that's why they put makeup on, that's why they color their hair and so on.

     I like you because you're attractive, not because you deserve it

Couldn't it be both?

And come on, at least the man's honest about it ... liking someone for their appearance and not saying it is a lot worse. If you're pretending that looks doesn't matter everywhere, then you must also believe in fairy tales (and I know that a lot of us, including me, believed in such meritocracy at some point).

And sorry, but I view these discussions themselves as sexists.

View on HN

Even if under certain circumstances it might be okay for that person from another company to say they find you very attractive, it is extremely inappropriate in a professional context and objectifies that person. Now rather than the audience focusing on the speaker's accomplishments and expertise, they are focusing on the speaker's physical appearance when they might not have before.

Sexism in the workplace can be really subtle, and the more that is let slide, the more hostile the environment becomes as a whole. A man or woman should not have to worry about dodging come-ons and propositions from their coworkers because of their physical attractiveness. It is extremely unpleasant and wears on a person over time.

Now if the gentleman giving the introduction was in the right environment, say a bar having drinks with said speaker, it is a lot more appropriate to let it slide that he finds her really attractive. But it is objectifying and belittling when given as an professional introduction to others.

And in what way are discussions about possible sexism in the workplace sexist, besides the fact that some commenters might say some pretty idiotic sexist things as counter-arguments? If this piece was written instead about racist remarks overheard in a professional setting, would you say addressing that racism with a blog post would be racist?

I'm afraid. Afraid I'm not smart enough or that I'm getting dumber or that I'm going to get dumber as I age. I hate it when people judge me by my intelligence because that's all anyone has ever done. It has the nasty side effect of tying my sense of self-worth to just one stupid thing that I really don't have that much control over. I would much rather have someone say that I was funny, or a good speaker, or well dressed or anything besides "smart".

Now look at it from a woman's point of view. If everyone tells you you're pretty or sexy and that's all you ever hear, that becomes what you think you're worth. And unlike intelligence you KNOW that beauty will fade and there's little you can do.

Yes, it's a compliment, but it's a compliment on something very transient that the subject has only a little control over.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com