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Comment by durandal1 | Hacker News Reader

The variety in temperament, interests and ability between even siblings varies greatly. The people most eager to share parenting advice is usually parents only one child who is calm and attentive :) I've seen several parents in that category have a second child and come out shocked.

I'm believe that beyond a base level of food, clean clothes and love, your influence as a parent is marginal. It's also a wildly unpopular but intelligence is highly genetic (at least 50% of outcome determined by genes).

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I wouldn't argue against intelligence being highly genetic.

But people usually aren't talking about intelligence. They're talking about success in life, be it career or school.

Our oldest had a terrible time at math early in this year, and the teacher thought she was doing well in the start because she never asked questions.

But the first practice test showed otherwise. After that we made a point to ensure she understands math. It was a rough couple of months at the start of the year, but that's paid dividends and the last 5 have been pretty smooth.

She didn't get smarter. And if she didn't have parents with the time and ability to help her, she woulda flunked.

The heredity of intelligence actually depends on the environment. Those high percentages you mention only emerge in a 'stable' environment. That's not saying that people can grow (far) beyond their genetic makeup, but the opposite can happen.

If you think of (defending against) all those negative effects, I think the impact of a parent goes well beyond the basics you mention. That goes even further when you consider all other skills that one can foster that benefit a future member of our society.

A few months of effort at home with our 6yo got him from being well behind in reading to caught up with his classmates. We had no idea he was struggling until his teacher told us.

The effort at home involved gentle encouragement and keeping him focused on the phonics homework. It wasn’t tough on him or us but it has restored his confidence and he’s keeping up with his classmates now.

This is totally the kind of problem that could have festered and led to poor outcomes for him in all of his schooling if we’d ignored it.

Relevant comic: https://imgur.io/8g2UAGS

I do believe parentage changes "the difficulty level" of life. Some kids are born to loving, nurturing, well-off parents and essentially "play the game of life" on level easy. Some kids play on level hard. However, it's the kid's own choice how they will play it.

If it’s 50% genetic, you’d see lineages of scientists or brilliant in whatever but it doesn’t seem to happen often does it?

Check out the Dyson family.

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