I am an atheist, a science-based person, but I have been in the presence of someone passing a couple of times. I can tell you that, I do not care how science based you are, there is something about this experience that you simply cannot dismiss.

I was with a person who I loved deeply, the details are, personal and I am going to skip over. But when she passed...

Her breathing moved from the rattle to just a quiet rhythm, and after a long time, slowed and finally stopped, with her last breath, I kissed her on her forehead, and said, “I will always love thee my sweet love."

I felt something, I sensed something, her spirit pierced through me, an energy, so intense, so much love. I know it was her spirit, she passed through me on her way to her journey to the beyond.

I had a vision. I don’t know if I fell asleep or exactly what happened, but in my vision, I was on a sandy beach with her on an island, there was a large campfire, it was dark, no moon and the milky way was splashed across the sky so vividly, like diamonds on velvet. I was a child and so was she, an old man as dancing around the fire.

He stopped and smiled at me, he waved his hand across the fire and embers trailed his hand as he traced the arc of the milky way, the embers seemed to mingle with the stars. It was so beautiful; I cannot explain it fully. He turned to me and smiled and nodded, and I nodded back, as if to say, I see, I understand now. He took her hand, she smiled at me, and they walked together into the sea.

Something of her stayed with me, I feel her, and him, both her spirits, some little piece. She was and she is, and he was, and he is, with me, in spirit. I wrote this poem about the experience.

Dämmerstunde (Twilight Hour)

When I stand at the window in the twilight, I see the sea in front of me in deep silence, Star upon star shines high above me, I like to think of long-forgotten childhood days.

How I yearned from my mother's womb, When she asked the great sky spirit, With wispy white hair, an old man, How he splashes the lights across the sky?

How then, she tenderly taught me, To hold dear the great spirit. How the omnipresence works and creates, With immeasurable love, kindness, strength.

Does he love me too, Mommy? Am I too small? Certainly, my child, you must be sincere and true, Stay strong, always trust in him, He will never renounce his love for you.

Oh mother, how often, with patience, Have you explained to me the great beauty of the spirit. Then I fell asleep, tired from many questions, You carried me lovingly and carefully to my little bed.

You left me so long ago, you're in the light, My mother, sees me from the spirits eye, But when my lifetime is up, Come home to thy glory!

I know, I am an idiot. Or crazy. I hope this is not out of line Again, I am not a believer, but I am questioning myself. I am so sorry if this is out of bounds.

Thank you for putting up with my silliness.