It’s an unfortunate reality that engineers (not their managers) are responsible for knowing how to handle themselves in the worst of situations so they don’t become the scapegoat at the cost of their health and security. Trust me, I’ve been through this situation and have been burned out by the [apparent] low standards and [apparent] double standards.
The prodigal charismatic leader can save the day but become a crutch too much relied on. And I get it, with all the shit we deal with in life, things ought to work out that way. But eventually that leader won’t be there for you (or even in the picture at all) and you’ll be in big trouble, especially if you spent many years relying on them for help.
Working remote for a high pressure early stage startup is a good recipe for this kind disaster if you aren’t great at managing stress or conflicts at work.