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Comment by okaram | Hacker News Reader

I more or less agree... But, does it make it any less true?

No it absolutely does not change the facts - but I’d be willing to bet people are more likely to change their minds (about policy, politics, their way of life) if folks didn’t look down their noses at them.

Of course everyone knows this, but grace and empathy is much harder than condescension and schadenfreude.

It goes both ways though. "Woke" has now become almost exclusively pejorative. And they're pulling "Communist" out of retirement lately, despite the fact that Russia and China are both capitalist now. What about the contempt for gay people? The contempt for "hippies" in 1960s?

I doubt that anyone is innocent of condescension.

Here's an article about "No-Respect Politics" from 20 years ago: https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/opinions/2002/07/26/n...

Evidently you missed the part about grace and empathy?

"But they started it" "They do it too" "They are meaner"

'They they they' is the problem.

> "But they started it" "They do it too" "They are meaner"

You're using quotes, but I said none of those things.

> 'They they they' is the problem.

The problem is as vaidhy suggested. You said grace and empathy is much harder than condescension and schadenfreude, but it becomes even harder when grace and empathy are met in return with condescension and schadenfreude. If you're acting in good faith, how much can you stand to be humiliated? It takes two sides to come to the table. Trust must be built mutually. Otherwise it's like talking to a brick wall.

Grace and empathy only go so long. You cannot be tolerant of the intolerant over and over again. There needs to be some amount of reciprocity.

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