> I can conclude is that this relationship is already dysfunctional.

Here's the thing, though: you wouldn't be wrong.

It may be different for contract development. For in-house development though, everywhere I've worked we've all always known that the relationship is dysfunctional. We also know that the dysfunction is everyone else's fault, not our own. So we just put up with it, because those assholes will never consent to fixing it, anyway, and just try to shift the blame to us instead.