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Comment by warent | Hacker News Reader

Maybe I'm being overly generous, it seems like it may be possible for this kind of thing to be more of a request out of support/concern for a loved one's health, rather than one of control or knowing better than a woman. It has been my understanding that many men don't consider such things.

My lady has had horrendous experiences with hormonal contraceptives. Based on what we know of it, if she ever expressed wanting to try it again, I'd ask she reconsiders, or that we explore other options. She would appreciate that as being thoughtful (not as me claiming to know what's better for her, better than herself.)

Maybe it's all about context, I'm not sure

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> Maybe it's all about context, I'm not sure

+100

For everyone the circumstances and relationship dynamics are different.

And it's kind of disheartening to read a well-intentioned comment, see people assuming their own completely different context and then getting slightly aggressive about it.

Well, we've also been given the context that at least one person in the relationship got upset with the demand.

It's only disheartening to me because woman live in a society where men perpetually behave like we know what's best for them.

What you're reading as aggression, I'm reading as a reasonable response to a perfectly plausible alternative interpretation, which is that he knows what's best for his girlfriends better than they do for themselves.

So many men have this corrupt mode of thinking that there is now an entire US state issuing bounties on women seeking control over their own bodies.

> woman live in a society where men perpetually behave like we know what's best for them.

Everyone lives in a society where everyone else behaves like they know what's best for them. Men currently happen to have more power to enact their plans, but it's about power, not about gender, and all people who seek power think that they know best.

> a perfectly plausible alternative interpretation, which is that he knows what's best for his girlfriends better than they do for themselves.

We are literally commenting on the article confirming using hormonal contraceptives increases the risk of cancer. So if your partner is using these you basically have two options: 1) ignore the issue and maybe not even mention it to her as this could be misinterpreted as influencing her decision, 2) address it out of pure concern for her future, even years ahead when you're no longer together.

3) bring it up to make sure she is aware of this possibly new information, and assume she will use it to inform her decision making? What do you think I meant by providing input to her decision? What on earth made you pull out the straw man that you can’t even influence them?

Go to any relationship subreddit and you'll see countless comments where the slightest misstep is treated as some indellible sin. It's terrifying how quickly these people would forsake a loved one. So many unbelievably jaded and cynical people influencing the thoughts of others.

Discussing changes to birth control decisions in the context of a long term partnership is not, in my opinion, the same as having a policy of telling every woman you date to stop using contraceptives.

You're right. However they did say they "ask" not "tell"; it was not necessarily a demand. It's hard to know exactly how the conversations went

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