In fact, understanding this spectrum of options is a task in itself - imagine starting from scratch and trying to pick a path!
At what point on this spectrum do you transition away from "self hosting"? Personally, I put the line at "vanilla VPS". I do not consider sharing wordpress space self-hosted, nor is having a webmin. (And yet, either is certainly more self-hosted than a Facebook group page!) My approach was "device oriented" in that I wanted to act as if I was configuring a fresh piece of server hardware with a new OS and so on. The cheapest way to get that is a VPS. It is at this level that I feel I have the most flexibility, the least lock in, and, importantly, the most leverage.
I'm still hosting my personal websites on a shared host today, because it just works and requires no maintenance on my end.
I use their "shared web hosting" tier and just upload a static site to my $HOME/public_html directory where it's served by their system. Very simple, and you control the site content (html/css/js and images or whatnot).
I already run a small server at home for NAS / HomeAssistant / PiHole, etc., but I would like to be able to access it anywhere and enjoy the benefits of ad blocking and personal media access on my phone outside of my home network, but I don't want to spend $25+/month for crap tier single 9 service, and at the same time, I don't need flawless service with five 9 uptime guarantees at any price, either.
I'm guessing that I would need a VPS provider that allows SSH access to some flavor of linux server with a static IP or at least a domain name.
Am I on the money with this, or is there something that I didn't consider?
If I am, would you still recommend pair.com or is there a VPS provider that might be a better fit?