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Comment by a_c | Hacker News Reader

> in part because monkey bars result in more injuries than any other playground structure.

I argue it is the opposite, like immunity, mild injuries prepare the young to recognize and deal with danger. As a parent myself, I never want to shield my children from all danger, only those severe one.

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I'm genuinely curious, how common were lifelong injuries from unsafe playgrounds? I'm 32, and even the structures I had as a kid are now gone. And those were tame compared to what my parents had. Yet I can't think of anyone that had serious injuries from them. In comparison, I know multiple people that have lifelong injuries they will never fully recover from drunk driving.

People do have some degree of lifelong injuries from high school football though at around the same age.

I wonder if monkey bars worsen that kind of thing be creating a culture of risk acceptance, making it socially awkward to say "No i won't climb that, no I won't lift that with no hand truck, and I'm certainly not joining the football team".

Rather than teaching people how to manage risk, could it be teaching people TO manage risk as opposed to just rejecting it entirely if it's not necessary?

Weird comparison. Nobody is supporting drunk driving.

No, but it nicely illustrates the contrast between serious dangers we all end up facing and the relatively minor (and likely useful/educational) dangers posed by play structures.

There is a movement to put back "dangerous" playgrounds. The idea is to let kids hurt themselves, but without permanent injuries or death.

So, for example bruises are ok, broken bones are tolerated if it is a rare occurrence, getting impaled is definitely not ok, so you can build a platform you can fall from, but if it is high enough, put something to break the fall, and make absolutely sure there can't be a sharp stick in the way. Minor cuts and splinters are ok, so you can use rough materials, but chopped off fingers are not, so be very careful with mechanisms.

When I get nervous from what my kid is doing and feel an urge to tell him to stop, I try to ask myself "what's the worst that could happen". If the answer is "break a bone", I try to stop myself from saying anything. Though I'll still subtly maneuver myself into catching position.

At the zoo near us there's a really great climbing structure. It's three stories tall. I overheard a dad there tell another dad "I used to get really nervous when I watch my kids play on this. So I decided to stop watching them."

You definitely have higher tolerance. I was trying to not have my children's bone broken. But as sister comment pointed out, maybe I should stop watching them climb too

I prefer for him to not break bones. If an activity is 50% likely to involve bone-breaking, I'll step in. But if that really is the worst that could happen, and is unlikely to do so, then I'll try not to.

Thanks for sharing. I'm stealing your mentality from now on :)

Thank you! At the end of the day, you have to raise your children in a way that's comfortable to you. Even if there were a scientifically "correct" template for raising every child, your own discomfort will shine through if it just doesn't work for you personally, and they'll pick up on that.

I take comfort in knowing that humans have been raising humans for a million years, and it usually works out alright. That must mean our own instincts are mostly good enough.

Also want to point out what another commenter mentioned; technically anything that can break a bone can do more damage than that.

Not that I disagree with your overall philosophy, but I just want to point out that anything that provides enough force to break a bone provides enough force to kill you if you don't land well. Perhaps some training in how to fall would be valuable too.

You're right, and every situation has nuance we can only intuit. Ultimately, I believe active play is important for his well-being, just like it's important that I take him places even if that involves a potentially lethal bicycle ride next to car traffic.

Of course, if anything terrible were ever to happen, I'll probably beat myself up over it and be certain I took too many unnecessary risks. Those are the odds we play for ourselves and our loved ones every day.

I keep repeating to myself that developing brains learn physics one ouchy at a time.

Last month the lesson was momentum, this month it is gravity.

The science checks out. Children of overprotective parents tend to live less:

https://neurosciencenews.com/overprotective-parents-child-lo...

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