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Comment by barelyauser | Hacker News Reader

As an asian man who has traveled to LATAM and the US, I am not surprised. American women are super entitled, hard to approach and borderline delusional when selecting men. It is never enough for them. They are hard to approach, judgy and sincerely just a pain in the ass. Women in LATAM for example are a thousand times sweeter, more feminine and approachable.

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Key to a love life in America: Only date immigrants or women who grew up in an immigrant household. Works like a charm. America’s immigrant communities are chock full of real women looking for real relationships.

Women in LATAM are also much more likely to get a boob job as teenagers (it was so common that until a law was passed preventing it, 30 percent of plastic surgeries in Colombia were on underage girls). LATAM cultures are in some ways more warm and welcoming, but in other ways more regressive/toxic, such as their gender roles and sexuality. Seems great to you because you're benefiting from it, but American women probably enjoy greater independence.

> but American women probably enjoy greater independence.

Hence not so comitted into a relationship.

> but in other ways more regressive/toxic

That's a bit unclear. Would you be ok to expand on that? :)

Not OP but am half Mexican with many Latin family members.

A big trend right now in Latin America is 'quiero toxico/a'(I want a toxic(person)) , they paste it all over their vehicles, clothing and whatnot.

You will see women wearing shirts that say 'soy toxica'(I'm toxic).

They literally want someone who hits them, gets jealous, all the bad stereotypes.

Having lived that myself, I firmly believe it's because they have never actually been with someone like that.

They think they want it till their car ends up destroyed, clothes on fire, or one/both in jail.

I just cannot fathom willing that stuff into your life, but some people are what's known as 'addicted to chaos'.

That's a strange trend to be mainstreamed, but not a strange sentiment at all, at least among women I've met. Most like to be spanked, manhandled, choked and dominated. One begged me to beat her up (I didn't).

I've known many men who like "crazy" women too. She stabbed him with a butcher knife? Forever in love.

Heh Heh Heh, seems like a weird trend.

Wonder what's led to that, and how that'll work out over time...? :)

> 'but in other ways more regressive/toxic, such as their gender roles and sexuality.'

Have you ever entertained the idea that _that_ US mindset might be part of the problem?

I think this will come down to personal preference. For me these sweet feminine woman are annoying as hell and they have expectations that you'll take care of things. I'll take the independent American or west European woman any time of the day.

Maybe it's different in the US, but in the parts of Europe I've lived, you get the worst of both worlds: "independent" woman who are completely dependant for "traditional man tasks".

These "sweet feminine woman" you speak of really don't take any shit either. I think the US has a picture of submissives under the patriarchy when they look at Eastern woman, for example. Let me tell you, that can not be further from the truth.

I've dated, middle Eastern and Asian woman, and they had more _actual_ independence than any European woman I've seen -- and good on them!

In the US everything is a product and therefore must be profited off, including appearance.

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