I asked for a song "about butts" in the style of Ian Dury, then refined the lyrics to be more corporate and businesslike, then secondly to incorporate references to Jesus and 6 random patron saints. This was the result:

"

Verse 1

My bottom line's alright, been in the news

It's an asset, will live and die by the grace of Jesus

Plus the patronage of St. Peter and St. Paul,

Is a butt worth more than a single share of a golden file?

Chorus

We got the capital butts,

Gonna shake it through the night

Doin' the cashflow and feeling alright

Gonna move and groovin' to the boppin' money-money-money

With the capital butts tonight

Verse 2

My assets are firm and so prime,

I'm always investing them around in my time

Doin' the capital dance, feel that portfolio jolt

This business got a booty of faith, I ask of the saints

Chorus

We got the capital butts,

Gonna shake it through the night

Doin' the cashflow and feeling alright

Gonna move and groovin' to the boppin' money-money-money

With the capital butts tonight

Bridge

Can you believe that we're still part of this show?

Ain't gonna let them take our guide from the grace of St. Dominic

Make it bank, make it earn, make it move 'till we're done

We gonna keep on shakin' 'till we earn the patronage of St Francis

Chorus

We got the capital butts,

Gonna shake it through the night

Doin' the cashflow and feeling alright

Gonna move and groovin' to the boppin' money-money-money

With the capital butts tonight

We gonna keep on shakin' trusting in the protection of St. Joseph and St. Jude

For the divine assistance of St. Michael, the Archangel and Eternal God"