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Working on this.

I'm not in America, but what about even just saying what key combination you should press to get through the menus to talk to a human?

I even hate waiting for the slow voice to read out the options!

Ooh, cool idea. It may vary from office to office but we'll definitely look into it.

check out gethuman.com for a service that offers menu-avoidance for other public numbers (though not necessarily the government).