Sounds like you want the Army Ranger’s Field Guide to Infant Civilians, which sadly doesn’t exist. The kind of people who write books about parenting can’t help but put in anecdotes and cute stories.

That said, the most helpful resources for me have been:

1. Happiest Baby on the Block. Chapter 1 is an outline of the full book and is pretty close to what you ask for. I had never cared for a child before, and reading it before my daughter was born made me “baby whisperer” for the first week.

2. Everything from Emily Oster.

3. A standard text on pregnancy. “What to expect…” and “Bumpin” are actually not bad from your perspective. They tend to do a good job of outlining the essentials and spectra of choices without being too opinionated.

And finally: get set up with a good peds office before baby is born. Look for 7 day/week office hours and a 24 hour call line. We needed to contact ours the night we came home — don’t put this off till the kid is born!