Growing up in Eastern Massachusetts, it was candlepin or GTFO. Didn’t see a tenpin lane until after college.
You’re supposed to roll the ball, not throw it!
Kidding aside, it’s all technique. My octogenarian father-in-law and his wife bowl on several leagues without problems. Both are reasonably proficient amateurs. Neither are large or muscular.
You could be trying to use power/speed as a substitute for aim and spin control.
It's definitely worth combing the alley for a lighter ball that still fits your hand. Can't go too light or the physics are poor, but I remember being a young person who just wanted to use the heaviest ball and that doesn't work after the teenage invincibility wears off.