I had a strange life due to pre-wired issues, until 30 when a few traumatic event (including a first relationship that was as positive as negative) completely altered my reality. I was very surprising to say the least how one day you cannot exist socially (total shut-in with obsessive painful thoughts on a daily basis), and the next one you see colors and friendliness everywhere. Deep in your guts, something that really lifts your mind, imagination and heart solidly, not just a philosophical understanding.
I had a year of socially vibrant emotions but gradually went back to my old self (avoidant) but I still remember that my reality is somehow altered and very far from what others can experience or what is healthy.
If anybody has resources to read or places to monitor I'll be glad to know.
ps: I have a ton of questions regarding the neurology of the perception of "the self" and others for the lack of better terms. if any neuroscientist has time to waste, my email is in my profile, feel free to spam.