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On the other hand, what's the point of sitting on the toilet if you're not allowed to think while you're there?

Or less flippantly....

It's like making a budget before you spend. The money is still real, you simply evaluated where to use it and set ground rules for yourself.

I think everything is down to intention

If youre building network to get advantage, then it doesnt feel genuine

If you build network cuz you just like those ppl and the advantage is accidental side effect then it feels genuine