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Comment by mdp2021 | Hacker News Reader

mdp2021

> rude customers

Well, in the context of the submitted text, the matter seems different: the section «Be Polite and Kind to Your Customers» expresses a different direction in that very title, and the anecdotal example is about "an usher that «intended to whip a man», «“Because he said I was no gentleman”»" - which (also) heavily suggests that the writer may have omitted some details about "what actually happened".

So, about «accepting [which] customers», well do your Cost/Risk/Benefit calculations; about behaviour, good sense be the ground and in case of controversy add more of the same.

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I read this as the customer was rude to the Usher (perhaps due to his station?), and the Usher was rude, but the owner basically told the employee he had to put up with the insult because the customer is entitled to because they paid, and may also bring future business. I think there's a line in the sand (which will vary person to person) where inappropriate unprovoked rude behaviour should not be tolerated by customers. That's all. My line is around unprovoked verbal abuse, where I'll give the customer a serve to protect the employee. Obviously if it's a common theme around a particular employee, perhaps they are the issue !!

In my experience no amount of talking down will deescalate a difficult customer who escalates to the point of abuse or disrespect.

The only effective method for dealing with them (based on working in retail and PC repair for 5 years) is to gray rock them, be as unhelpful as possible and disengage the situation, and hope the next time you deal with them that they're more reasonable.

> gray rock

Which is - to my understanding of what it could mean - one the most disrespectful behaviours possible. And disrespect to that level could lead to violence, depending on the culture of the interlocutor. Even more than earlier, further recommendation to throw checks and good sense is suggested - cooling down the situation and remaining fixed in lucid reasoning (which includes, remaining respectful - which excludes, showing you are ignoring the interlocutor).

Edit: I will rephrase, for even more clarity: if somebody were irritated, and the listener started playing uninterested and distracted - well that amounts not to the "small terms" of just putting fuel to a fire, but carpeting napalm.

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