I really hope it is because I get maybe 1 person every 8 months to write back so if the average person has so many dates they need an app to track them all that's just seriously depressing that I'm so far off the norm.
Maybe if we just put up better photos?
However, hot women probably do.
Edit: or at least could, if they wanted to
I eventually found a gf outside of the apps, entirely by chance. I still do not see how I could’ve found her aside from pure random chance, so unfortunately that doesn’t help you at all.
The trick is to find out where you're likely to meet the types of people you are interested in: interest groups, college campus, gaming Discords, climbing gym, etc. I think in dating, diversification is key, because the types of people you will find in any given environment can be highly autocorrelated in terms of preferences and personality.
The other trick is to actually flirt with people when you like someone. A minority of people might not take it well, but it actually brightens a lot of people's days when done respectfully and it's the only way to have a chance at getting somewhere.
Most social activities that involve strangers are also full of men. This is because most men aren’t interested in going out and meeting new people they have no social connection with. Women go to parties, outings with other friends, etc. Men go to things alone like bars, clubs, gyms, sports, etc. to meet new people and bond with absolutely complete strangers. Most women don’t do this at all.
I realized that increasing the surface area mostly only matters if you’re increasing the surface area of meeting the kind of person you want to date. As a hetero man, I was not doing activities that included many women. But I still don’t know what I could’ve done differently, because doing activities involving women that I don’t enjoy, so that I can be on the lookout for potential dates… doesn’t seem very enjoyable, and also seems a bit creepy. On the other hand, going to activities I don’t enjoy and not looking for dates seems rather pointless.
Well, that and optimize your attractiveness as best you are able. That can take a large variety of forms depending on your target audience and who you want to be personally.
The truth is that most men get nothing from dating services. It’s only the top few percent of men who are getting substantial attention. Even then - of the friends I know who are getting some attention, they say it’s a huge mental drain because they have to be a jester to entertain so many women in order to get anywhere. These are above average men but not very good looking men. The good looking men don’t even have to try - the mental effort is low.
On top of all that, they're all slowly changing to the swipe mechanics of Tinder and the like. Personally I hate that model, but apparently it's "won".