I’ve used various large `org-mode` tables with great success and no rage, but a table that large means that you need a database, not a spreadsheet. Use sqlite for it instead and you will be much happier. Use the right tool for the job; nobody is forcing you to use Emacs for every single thing.

I find that whenever people complain that Emacs is slow or janky, it is usually because they have configured too much stuff to run all of the time. They got excited by the possibilities and downloaded every single shiny package they could find. After a few years of downloading shiny packages Emacs just isn’t fast any more, and so they blame Emacs.