Using paper to clean the anus is not only wasteful, it's unpleasant and ineffective. The universal solvent is clearly the superior option for this daily task.

As nice a thing as it is, it doesn't take a $400 bidet to wash your ass with water. Use your imagination. You can even do it in the woods, like a bear with a water bottle.

And if you insist on using paper, I humbly recommend the delicate tissues of the Christian Bible, which should be a fine alternative to such old darlings of western bathroom culture as the Sears, Roebuck and Co. catalog, and are available for free all over the damned place.