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Gettr, Parler, Truth Social, Hive, Tribel, Post, Cohost, etc. etc. etc.

Apparently the decentralized stuff does matter because Mastodon is by far the largest Twitter clone and that's its defining feature.

Isn't Gab the largest one? While it does use Mastadon, it doesn't peer with other servers so it is basically the same as the centralized servers.