When I heard my mother had fallen down and was in a rehab center, I of course expected her to be being taken care of, healing up, and getting physical therapy. Instead she was emaciated and barely conscious, unable to talk, appeared to be dying, but no IVs or monitors or anything. I asked why she wasn't in the hospital and they wouldn't answer me. At all. Wouldn't tell me anything, despite that I had the Power Of Attorney signed by her in my hand.
It took 3 full days before someone showed up who had the authority to talk to me. Then I found out what had happened. She had indeed fallen and had been in the hospital but had been declining. Her tests had came back positive for cancer again. So she had signed out of the hospital and signed up for palliative/hospice care at the rehab place; DNR etc. It all made sense once it was finally explained. It matched with what we had talked about years before.
But for a few days there, you can bet I was upset. In truth, the nurses there were wonderful and were doing the best they could to make her comfortable as she died. I'm thankful for them.
But not only was it not at all what was expected (fell down and damaged her leg, now in rehabilitation), they also wouldn't explain at all. There's also the side effect that the family member may be a lot older and sicker than the visitor remembers and expected.
And there's also the communication factor at the family level. People find it hard to talk about that stuff to their family members, so they often don't. They might be hearing it for the first time from hospital or hospice personnel. If they can even get those people to talk to them.
I understand why it's tough for the nurses too, to see someone encountering that, and have to talk to them and refuse to tell them anything.
The whole way we handle situations like that is a mess, for everyone involved.