If updates were not automatic a large number of people would not upgrade and would not receive important security updates along with various fixes and new features. If a user keeps running into a bug that has already been patched in a newer version that user will just think your software is bad and they will not realize that this poor experience they are having is because they are on an old version.
>The number of times I've been hacked and suffered a data loss is astronomically small
Being hacked even once is a bad thing. It is something that the industry tries to minimize as much as possible.
>the number of times I've had something update and suffered a data loss
Personally I have not experienced this, but it sounds like this would still happen when you update later. This is why doing gradual updates of rollouts and collecting telemetry is important. It is very useful in being able to detect a bad update and stop it from going out. Unfortunately, the Linux ecosystem is still behind the rest of the industry which leads to people having a poor user experience.