Perhaps the word you're looking for is half-hearted? That's how I felt as well after reading this. I was nodding along in agreement until I reached the end. I live and breath what I do and love every minute of it. And my level of devotion doesn't make me fear failure nor link myself to it. Failure is a moment. You've only failed when you've stopped trying. Until then, you're just continuing on the winding road to success and experiencing every stop along the way.