I would argue that HN is a collective not a social network.
Surely not everyone here is American - me for instance. If you don't get the nuance right then they can tell you - that way both parties learn something.
The following phrases are contradictory btw, thus:
"I genuinely want an argument to clarify my thoughts"
"HN isn’t the place for arguing- at least not for me"
Personally I'm a big fan of the ChangeMyView forum on Reddit. Pretty much anything goes there, as long as you're civil and interested in productive discussion that aims toward clarifying your views. Which is a refreshing change from the ideological echo chambers of most of the rest of the site, where if you say the wrong thing you'll be banned.