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Comment by sadhorse | Hacker News Reader

Women select for value. Intelligence in modern society leads to higher value (i.e. networth).

But networth itself will not hold women forever, just look at Bezos and Gates.

Do you think your 'selection criteria' are the same as other people's? I expect you've seen people who you think are perceived as attractive but are not yourself attracted to? I'm sure your 'selection criteria' are unique in many ways.

What I'm coming to is that generalizing about what any women are attracted to (value?) is unwarranted. Different people want radically different things.

Women seek stability. Money is a requirement for that. Stability in the sense of their nature, a nature we must respect. For starters they will be the ones bearing the child, an event that in modern society will set their careers back, but in primitive society could mean their death if they were alone.

I agree they select for value however in my opinion Gates is not a great example of exceptions. That relationship went sideways around the time that he was interviewed about the relationship with Mr. Epstein. That appeared to be a very intelligent disassociation.

In Gates case that could be the reason, but every other woman will theirs. The fact is, she walked away with wealth and can seek men that will fulfill her other needs. Purely transactional.

Given decent alternatives, both men and women tend to leave partners who are "top 1%" by some obvious metric(s)...but have "issues".

Yes. When stability of money is removed, even children won't hold a marriage in current year.

That’s a very transactional view of relationships.

Relationships are transactional. Not every single one of them, but a would say a majority. Money is not a sufficient requirement, but it is a necessary one for sure.

Romantic relationships should not be transactional. If that’s not the case, Psychology text books point that out as a symptom of Dysfunction.

Should is a strong word. The world is what it is. But I tell you from experience. It will hurt a lot less to handle romantic relationships as transactional. Save unconditional love to children.

Psychology textbooks point that out as a Maladaptive Coping Mechanism. Not trying to mock you or be oppositional - I would invite you to check it out, but the Wikipedia article is not detailed enough.

- Someone with a proper background in psychology wants to weigh in?

None offense taken, but what is "that" that it points to?

Look at the net worth of the ex wives of Bezos and Gates, they didn't need the marriage to stay rich.

for Bezos and Gates I doubt they care about holding anyone since they can have anyone they want anyway.

They can, but they are billionaires. For Bezos, yes it sucks to lose so much stock and control of something. She kinda of deserves by her support of the endeavor. My point is, regular individuals regularly get crushed by divorce process because a lot of women are experts in leveraging their position.

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