What we need is a computer with the internals of a modern M1 Macbook, but the aesthetics and keyboard of a Thinkpad of yesteryear, plus a magnesium chassis.
The keyboards though? I've had a range of laptops, some Dells, some HPs, a 2021 MacBook Pro and a 2011 MacBook Pro, I would simply describe the keyboard as "meh". Most of the laptops O've had have been slightly less comfortable to type on, but they've all essentially done the job (with the exception of one Dell which had a truly terrible keyboard).
No offence, but it looks like you feel the need to describe everything as either "terrible" or "amazing", the keyboards can't just be "not as good as they should", they have to "suck", the externals can't just be "boring", they have to be "awful". I think there's a version of what you're saying which people would agree with (or at least find unobjectionable), but as it is, nobody will agree with you that an objectively average laptop keyboard "sucks" or that an aesthetic lots of (most?) people like is "ugly".
Many people also dislike how ThinkPads look like, and dislike how the keyboard works.
Older MacBooks did have issues but Apple generally delivered on what most mac users wanted.
[1]: https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/macbook-pro-m1-max-almo...
I was always bothered by this and managed to fix it a few months ago. I had grounded my power-plug-box to the central heating system with some copper (don’t ask), but was wondering why I still got those vibrations whenever I was charging the MacBook.
Turns out, charging through just the monitor (via Thunderbolt) solved this: the monitor was grounded. The default MacBook charger (EU) plug just has just two prongs; a third one for grounding exists, but has to be attached separately.
Edit: indeed, this was on a 14” 2021 MBP. They definitely still get the vibrations when connected to a power source without grounding.