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Comment by alex3305 | Hacker News Reader

I'm currently on sick leave with burnout, for 9 months already... For public health care the waiting lists are at least half a year. Although my employer 'tried' to employ a private psychologist, this has been useless thus far. This is because my situation is more complex than a regular burnout, a standard psychologist for burnout refuses to treat me. My employer says they cannot do anything besides that. So I'm currently at a stand still.

This is my second burnout in 4 years with this employer and I think employers should do more about these situations and resolutions.

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Usually, at the point of real "burnout" there is no fix except leaving for a different setting for awhile. While I often infer Plumbing is a cleaner trade than the tech sector, there are real consequences associated with some toxic corporate cultures. ;) I usually recommend self-evaluation though Ikigai as part of long-term career planning.

'Ikigai starts with the awareness of four key pillars:

Business Values

Core Competencies

Income Generation

What the World Needs' ( https://singularityhub.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/ikigai... )

First of all, thank you.

> Usually, at the point of real "burnout" there is no fix except leaving for a different setting for awhile.

Still being with my employer causes some real pressure. They don't want to help to fix my issues, while still expecting me to come back to work. I need to get out of this situation.

> While I often infer Plumbing is a cleaner trade than the tech sector [...]

The thing is though, I love software development. I have wanted to be a software developer when I was 4. And I'm almost 34 now. But I really hate the politics and drama. I just want to create, be creative and be a team leader. I know I can do that and I'm good at it. But I just have to find the right match.

I didn't know about Ikigai, but I've printed out a copy for on my whiteboard and I love reflection, so thank you.

> I just want to create, be creative and be a team leader

Being a team leader isn't great if you are vulnerable to stress. I've never led a team but from how I see it their job is generally higher stress. You need to be technically hands on which isn't easy, and on top of that deal with any unexpected issues that arise, and yeah ... manage the people on your team. I honestly don't really know why everyone wants the job. Yeah it looks nice on a resume I guess..anyway I digress. Its the executive levels that perhaps get the good life but than you really leave development.

> Being a team leader isn't great if you are vulnerable to stress.

I think there are differences in being vulnerable to stress. I really perform under pressure. Especially with difficult technical challenges. I'm also the kind of person that can be a locomotive in a team, pulling them forward. I did that in the past and would love to do that again. But I crack when I'm threatened on a personal level. For instance my job security. Or when team members don't want to work in a team anymore, but management still wants them there. Although that's hard on the whole team.

Thanks for the insight though, greatly appreciated. And to be honest, I don't really mind my resume. It's nothing special now either.

Team lead is the definition of being between a rock and and hard place.

Management roles can be very isolating, and have minimal labor protection legally in many places.

For some reason, I kept thinking about the 1989 film "How to Get Ahead in Advertising" while in the role. ;)

> [...] hav[ing] minimal labor protection legally in many places.

Here in the Netherlands that's not the case, luckily. That would break me instantly. But I get where you are coming from.

How did you realize it's a burnout and not something else? Asking for myself.

If you've entered the "burned out" phase, it'll be very often high anxiety, low energy, sleep problems (either very short nights, or very long nights, coupled with large naps and somnolence through the day), feeling angry or depressed, feelings of dread. You stop enjoying what you used to enjoy, and it's basically easily confused for "just depression" (which should also be treated) Your body just lets go of all non brain functions and focuses on your mind. And your mind is feeling like shit, empty and useless.

If you're at the "right at the edge of it" phase, it's rather obsessional focus, trying to please everything and everyone, high feelings of responsibility and duty (even if nothing will happen if you're gone), stress (both the "good kind", the one that everyone believes is perfectly normal to have when you have something important to do, except all you're doing is making a shitty CRUD app right now, and the bad kind, where going to the office fills you with dread), not enjoying what you used to enjoy but saying "it's okay, it's just temporary" when you've not touched that backlog of games in 6 months.

I didn't enjoy anything anymore. I didn't enjoy movies, activities, programming or hobbies. I also slept a lot, like 10+ hours a day. I would just fall asleep while sitting on the couch watching something with the wife. And I just felt like I was empty.

Are you still feeling this way or are you feeling better now?

If you are feeling better now, what changes did you make, how long did it take to get through it?

> Are you still feeling this way or are you feeling better now?

To be honest, I am feeling even worse than the first day I called in sick. I haven't had any noteworthy mental health help in the 9 months. Like I said in another comment, my employer denies that he is (co-)responsible for my situation. So they just don't really help me out. And without my own funds this seems neigh impossible because of waiting lists.

I'm sorry you're having to go through that. I hope things get better or you figure out get out of that hole.

Thank you. Really appreciate that!

> This is my second burnout in 4 years with this employer and I think employers should do more about these situations and resolutions.

How many “burnouts” will it take before you choose to get a different job?

Great question.

My first burnout at this job was caused by exceeding my stress levels for a very long period of time, more than a year. I asked my supervisor to assist me with this. And he kept promising change, but it didn't materialize. It also didn't help that I was the only team member that was working on a separate location. When I return to work, I started looking for another job, but a company restructuring happened, which brought me new challenges. This change made me abandon job hunting.

Fast forward to about a year ago and I had the opposite problem now. Work had just dried up and I wasn't doing anything for longer periods of time. Causing somewhat of a bore-out. Also I was required to justify my time, which was becoming impossible. Causing anxiousness. Again I pointed this out to my supervisor and was job hunting for months. But both, again, didn't materialize in time.

I have an added problem that I can only travel by train or bike, while most IT employers nearby are only accessible by car. And I really would like to work on site with a team. At least for half the time.

Now I would like to start with another employer, but I still feel extremely empty and anxious. Sorry, English isn't my first language and this has a lot of emotions coming through with it. That's why maybe some sentences seem a bit off.

What in your opinion led to this?

My employer didn't have enough (challenging) work for me anymore. According to my employer I had to find my work in the organization myself. Which IMHO is a load of BS. This had be going on for close to a year, and before I realized it, it was too late. Although I have mentioned this every sprint retrospective and with every performance review, nothing was done about it.

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