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This is more or less the opposite of the truth, and what you're doing here is playing a dumb semantic game with the word "spyware".

Am I, though? If Chrome sends unknown telemetry back to Google without telling the user up front, how is it not spyware?

It does if you read the terms etc when installing Chrome before mindlessly clicking next, install, finish.

Sure, blame the victims.

Are we sure the software using Variston doesn't have a fine print disclaimer?