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Comment by Zachsa999 | Hacker News Reader

While eating at a restaurant yesterday I saw my old friend who lost his partner to cancer 2 months ago eating alone. He was looking very lonely, and I was struck with how eating is an immense part of our social life as humans.

I walked over and chatted after which he looked physically healthier. Let's not forget our loved ones.

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In general I have a rule - if I see someone at a restaurant I know who is alone I offer to join them. Or if they walk in I wave them over.

I don’t get a ton of chances to utilize this rule, but it’s been successful.

You're a nice person. I'm often alone, and I might or might not welcome the company, depending.

It's probably easier for a table of three or more to welcome a stranger. There are actually restaurants where "big tables full of strangers" are the rule, not the exception.

"Sit at the bar" is my recommendation. Being alone is more normal there, and it's easy to chat with the person next to you.

Yeah, one of the nicest things about Amtrak long-distance trains is you sit to dinner at a packed table for 4 no matter how many are in your party. Somehow that leads to conversation when sitting next to someone for ten hours on a plane doesn't.

I found this one of the most obnoxious aspects of riding the Zephyr.

Even when there were plenty of open dining tables staff packed us in like sardines with complete strangers who half the time devolved the conversation into insane right-wing politics and spouting q-anon level conspiracy theories.

It only served to further cement my preference for fasting on train rides. That round-trip was shared with my mother who attended every meal in the dining car, and sometimes I just went with to keep her company. The social aspect could be great if the quality of the people were more predictably good... but it's an outmoded form of travel inching across the USA, I found the people mostly unwelcome at the shared table.

Different strokes. Maybe you and your mother could subtly make fun of the crazies, in a way that you two could laugh about later.

I knew a guy whose standard answer to a crazy conspiracist was to look seriously at them and say, "It's even worse than you think!" Never tried that, myself.

That's not really what I'm interested in when trying to enjoy/share a meal.

Much of the social problems in the Zephyr's dining car are created by Amtrak. I'm not sure if it was this way pre-covid, but presently only sleeper car passengers have dining car access. It could be another form of skimpflation. But the current experience on that train is highly segregated coach vs. sleeper car passengers. This selects for a specific demographic in the dining car.

The socializing is much healthier and more diverse in the lounge car where all passengers have access, and you get to choose where you sit and have freedom to move around at will.

What goes on in the dining car today is a complete shit show.

(I rode the Zephyr between IL and CA four times this year, twice in coach and twice in a sleeper (two round trips))

I know that you're doing it with a good heart, just wanted to point out that are some of us who do like to eat out alone. After my divorce about 10 years ago there were a few years when I went out eating all by myself and I couldn't say that I was sad during those going outs, quite the contrary.

Also, I personally don't like socialising, as in talking, while eating, and I guess I'm not alone in this.

Each to his own. Just don't forget the vastly different experiences everyone on this planet has.

Of course, hence my comment.

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