> I suspect “logistics” has more to do with it than “independence.” Our education system and economy, in particular, causes people to spread out and move away from family. Raising kids without family around is much, much more difficult.
I experienced this first hand. I moved to follow career with my wife, who also has an extraordinary career compared to median. We delayed and struggled to find the right time to start a family. The whole dynamic of planning the start of your family was self defeating. There's no good time to have kids while prioritizing career...
So we took the plunge, had kids, made it 6 months, and moved back to be near our family.
In retrospect it is obvious that the narrative of success being concentrated in gross salary was poisoning our lives and forcing us to make unhealthy decisions to live in awful situations. We're "richer" in our hometown by a long shot, when you calculate the slush money left over after cost of living, babysitters, day care, housing, even cars. Not to mention the joy of having a big family that the kiddos can play with all the time.
If we had realized this in our 20s, I'm sure we would happily have had 4 or more kids and accepted half the money overall for the same net takehome.