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Comment by joenot443 | Hacker News Reader

You don't need to ask your manager, why not go to HR and stress that this is a sensitive topic you don't want making back to your team? No guarantee they'll honor your privacy, but I'd say it's worth a shot.

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In my experience, HR may act kind, but they are 100% aligned with the company and not you. Giving them a signal that you're open to leaving at a time when they're trying to reduce the cost of resources that are human is a terrible idea if you aren't looking to leave.

Find a trusted friend in the company who is a survivor and ask them. Survivors have strong information networks for office politics and know such info.

HR. Is. Not. Your. Friend.

This 100%.

HR is there to protect the company. Sometimes that aligns with protecting the employee but when shit hits the fan ask yourself does HR work for you or for the company?

I know I sound a bit 'down' saying that but it is an unfortunate reality that companies are not very loyal to their employees when times get tough.

This is sage advice here. Never fall into the trap that HR is your advocate, despite what they tell you.

You do that and there will be an email describing the conversation in your boss' inbox before you get back to your desk.

That would almost certainly make it back to the person’s direct manager or 2nd-level manager (director, VP, whatever.)

I've never had HR share that kind of information back to me. And I would consider it highly unethical if they tried.

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