Hacker News Reader

Comment by nicolashahn | Hacker News Reader

Disclaimer: positive sentiment towards Meta app

I'm a millennial and I use Instagram (mainly stories) as the primary tool for keeping in touch with people. It's easier to share an image, maybe with a short caption, rather than composing a post, and consuming friend's stories are quicker than text posts since you don't need to read. It's a more efficient/faster way to know what my friends and family are up to and it prompts me to communicate with them more.

I may be an outlier but I'm very bad at remembering to text/call/email friends if I don't see them regularly, so following them on IG helps a lot.

View on HN

I remember using Instagram and thinking "why am I just staring at their feed and hitting like? Why don't I just text them 'hey how are you?'" So I quit social media and now I just text them. The difference is obvious now: the former wasn't real interaction, the latter is. Biggest difference: actually being surprised in a conversation where you didn't know something that happened to somebody.

You know you can message people in Instagram, right?

You can even call them in IG, but I've heard several people say they would find it highly insulting to get a call via Instagram.

"It's easier to share an image, maybe with a short caption, rather than composing a post, and consuming friend's stories are quicker than text posts since you don't need to read."

I don't want to invest the time and effort to really connect with people.

"It's a more efficient/faster way to know what my friends and family are up to and it prompts me to communicate with them more."

So I pretend.

"I may be an outlier but I'm very bad at remembering to text/call/email friends if I don't see them regularly"

In general, I can't be bothered to care about other people.

Meaningful connections with people require time, effort, and care. There are no shortcuts.

The poster above was not describing a replacement for meaningful connections. You can do both.

I have closer relationships with a select group of people, but there's others where it's fine if we only keep up with each other as much as instagram stories and occasional quick chats allow.

Do you connect with people by judging them?

The feedback given was what a therapist might give, or even just what a self-help book might tell you. I don't see it as judging, I see it as stripping away rationalisations.

You woke up and chose violence today, didn't you? Or is it just so impossible to believe that a social media product actually promotes pro-social behaviors?

What you are describing is not pro-social. It's anti-social. That's the problem. Clearly, I failed in conveying that message.

Your last line can stand very well on its own, and the judgmental fabrication before it was totally unnecessary.

Can you point out the inaccuracies in the translation?

Maybe you should get your friends on Signal, and use their (E2EE!) Stories instead, if that's the only feature that matters to you?

I'd be happy to if they were open to it. The network effect means that that's not going to happen any time soon though. It's also not the only feature that matters to me, though. Also, their stories are brand new, so likely not at feature parity yet.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com