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Maybe it's just me, but I rather disliked the pubescent, sensationalized tone of this opinion piece.

That's the house style of "The Register" to a "T".

I quite like this sort of style, just as a change of pace from the normally pretty dry style that we're used to on these topics. Sometimes it helps strip away the layers of complexity and point out the fundamental oddities in play.

The master of this style as far as I'm concerned is Matt Levine and his "Money Stuff" column for Bloomberg. He goes back to first principles on complex matters in the finance sector, and explains it all humorously.

There might be some stylistic similarities but Matt Levine is actually good.

You can use all the fancy words you like, but if you're just going to call the writer a dick, then just call them a dick. Don't bring pubes into it.

I think that "pubescent" does not mean what you appear to think it means.