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I oscillate between this (having an expanded brain capacity) and the exact opposite (a more limited brain capacity, the ability to take things one at a time, be eternally optimistic, not have your mind race all the time, sleep instantly when you lie down).

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> sleep instantly when you lie down

The secret to this is lots of exercise (and maybe good sleep hygiene).

IME insomnia is mostly a result of being sedentary all day.

Never had insomnia when camping and hiking multiple hours each day.

True. I'm not an insomniac or anything close and I exercise regularly. I think sleep hygiene and sleep posture (and breathing during sleep) are the last pieces of the puzzle. Still working on it.

It's true, what intelligence I have (not particularly impressive) has already caused me enormous suffering.

Yet, there's this piece inside me that tells me that "the only way out, is through".

Yeah I've been there. But I don't think you can improve your working memory or your "intelligence" (however you choose to measure it) much beyond your baseline (which could be quite high already, compared to the average). And the only way to stay at your baseline is by having a very relaxed life (good quality sleep, good nutrition and water, exercise etc).

Yearning for a bigger brain only made me feel worse.

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