Sounds like you're depressed and jealous. Not a good thing. You might want to ask yourself why you worked in that dead-end job for 6 years, did you not know about HN during that time?

You can start by getting some sunshine for Vitamin D, and do some physical exercise of some sort, beyond that, you have to set yourself some goals, however small.

What sort of person do you wish to become when you become That Hacker? Perhaps you could give something to charity or start answering some questions on SO to feel better about yourself, or at least chrystalize your current knowledge.

I would also look at any heavy metal toxicity you might have.