Wanna open files from other people? Just get the $15/month "Fun with Friends" DLC.
Oh need to save a file, better grab the "Sharing is Caring" Extra content pack, it's a steal at $20 a month.
But wait, don't forget about your magic lasso, it's part of the "western costumes and accessorizes pack". Not only do you get your magic lasso but you get a fancy cowboy hat for your desktop icon, and some chaps for your menu bar, just to show off your western side. It's a real bargain at $44.95 a month! We'll even include some real life six-shooter sounds to make it feel even more authentic.
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All this rent seeking needs to die.