Thanks for your comment! Indeed, I often wrestle with something similar as you describe, and I wonder if your last paragraph is really the solution. To elaborate:

I have done a lot of self-reflection in the past and a while back I realized that the thing that brings me the most joy in life is to improve at something that I work hard at. However, after looking into Stoicism, I find myself asking if I'm not being honest with myself, and that in reality I focus less on chasing "more" and more on mindfulness and enjoying life's moments. I'm very fortunate in that I've never been depressed or struggled with mental illness, but I feel that this tension between "I want to be the best" and "I should focus on being grateful and present with what I have" is a core question I have yet to really answer. For now, I'm very happy with my life being around the former, but a future me may look back at this and laugh :)