I feel like the advice here is a little weirdly targeted given:
> I don’t buy it for weeks at a time, then cave and have a 12 pack in a weekend and feel like garbage most of the time.
Doesn't sound like you're at all dependent on alcohol, you just need something to get you over the "well, why not?" urge. Make a bet with a friend and agree you'll donate a meaningful/painful amount of money to a cause you absolutely hate if you drink.