Ask HN: Help me summon the strength to finish my project

Could be a psychological thing: Fear of success or fear of rejection/failure.

When you finish something you will probably show it to the world. So now that world will judge your talent/abilities and maybe you don't feel ready for it.

Apparently it's a common thing. I think Pressfield wrote about it in the War of Art. And it was in another book about childhood trauma I read recently, though I can't remember the title.

I could be way off. Just saying it's a possibility.

So close to completion, the only thing that could make it fail now is you. So you go with a comfortable form of failure: not finishing, instead of finishing and not being satisfied.

Really curious to know the title of that other book. Would you care to look it up? Thanks!

Tbh I didn't exactly forget the title but I don't know in which one of the books I read it.

It could be either:

CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker // Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb // Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Bowden (and colleagues) //

Though now that I'm trying hard to remember which one it could have been I'm not even certain it really was one of those. Maybe it was more of an aggregated insight that I gathered from studying the subject. Either way those books can shed a lot of light on unexplainable mental blocks we have.

It's certainly in Pressfields book. He calls it 'resistance' and swears its at its strongest when you're near the finish line. That's a good observation but he doesn't go into why that could be. Those other books offer explanations to connect the dots. At least for me.

yes the street slang for it is premature ejectulation, or more formally known as performance anxiety.

Is the book you're thinking of maybe The Body Keeps the Score?

So, you want to be motivated to finish the project, aka you're meta-motivated.

But you need cheering on, because you don't think you're motivated enough.

Think about why you are meta-motivated. Why do you want to have the project finished? If there's a really good reason, and you think deeply about that, maybe that helps your motivation.

> I feel like it's becoming a death march that will crush me unless I put in the final spurt needed to get over the line. I'm tired. I feel like every feature I need to implement is dragging me through molasses.

Or... maybe you need a break?

You wrote that this is a personal project. Ask yourself if the remaining effort is worth it. Don't fall pray to the sunk cost fallacy. If the answer is a resounding "yes", maybe it helps with motivation. If the answer is a "no", well, then you have your answer. Then ask why you feel so strongly about wanting to finish.

Willing to help, but first I 'd like to hear a bit more about your situation:

1. Have you been getting enough sleep in the past days? I did 90-hour week to finish my doctoral dissertation and much of what I did in the last days of that week was very problematic.

2. Is there some particular doubt about the project that you might have, perhaps even be suppressing in your drive to finish? It can often be wise to take time to write up these doubts. You can likely come back and review them once you are past your finish line.

3. Have the last bits of the project become unexpectedly harder and more time-consuming? This can be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your expectations about what the last steps involve.

That you've been well-motivated until recently is a very good sign. With new kinds of project, it is common for finishing off to be harder than you expect, but from the sounds of it, I think you are close to the end.

1: Yes sleeping enough I think, usually 8 hours. Exercising 1 hour every two days.

2: In some strange way, I think the fact that I feel like this is finally a project with legs, is what is holding me back from finishing it. It feels like I'm building something that is a good idea, that people will want to use. Strange psychology, maybe I'm self sabotaging, avoiding the potential success.

3: I'm just starting to feel like no matter what I do to hack through the last items in the list they keep expanding. I've been doing software development long enough to know this is the old trick that software projects play on you but this time it's getting me down. There's not even alot on the list but it is probably two weeks solid work. I just find it really hard to pick up the next task. Once I have picked up the task I'm fine and I can get into the zone and get it implemented. After that however, I waste so much time just futzing around.

I'm a very, very motivated person normally.

> I'm just starting to feel like no matter what I do to hack through the last items in the list they keep expanding

I feel your pain but in a different area of my life most recently - I moved house and had to clear and pack a couple of rooms before a cleaner was scheduled to visit the next morning. Every time I looked at what was left I thought, an hour or two and this will be done, then after picking and processing a chunk, the remaining workload appeared to be unchanged. As the night wore on I started to feel like the house was cursed by some kind of vengeful clutter spirit, it just went on and on and on... Anyway the shred of motivation I wanted to offer you is that, despite the apparently ever-expanding workload, it did in fact finally finish, and the cleaner was presented with an empty house. I was able to accelerate the process slightly by 'cutting scope' (packing or throwing things I was going to sort) which in your case might be worth considering. Maybe some things can go into version 2?

You've evidently come so far and achieved so much, and you're so close now. Head down, one foot in front of the other, you'll be done before you know it. Good luck!

Good that you are looking after yourself.

Wrt. #2, maybe there's a fear of what a rollout of the project will commit you to. If so, then redefining the project so it's goal is to have a deliverable, rather than rolling it out, will help. You can then, with the luxury of having the implementation finished, take the time you need to reach a decision you are happy with.

Wrt. #3, I recommend taking a break and make a fresh list of what you think are the time-consuming remaining tasks.

It sounds to me that you are close to getting over this bump. Hope this AskHN thread is helping.

I'm the worst motivator but I'll tell you what you need to do. Although you almost certainly know all that already.

Write down everything you planned to do to finish. Cut back everything that isn't absolutely necessary (MVP). There should be a brief feeling of relief once you send out you child into the world. Then there will be much more work with incorporating feedback than you expect right now.

Sorry for the opposite of motivation. There's only one way - forward.

Right! End of project blues! You need a boss! I have set a reminder for 4 weeks time to send you an email (from profile) to see how you are doing. If you don’t want this let me know…

In the meantime you have all the probably most tedious incremental tasks left to finish. Write a list. Scrub out anything that is excess “polish”. Do one at a time.

Sure thing send me an email! I need encouragement.

I got gmail to schedule one for 4 weeks time.

Your project might not resonate or fail to spark others’ interest once complete. That is ok. You might be scared of that. But that could turn out ok. It may require a keen insight from someone else to see: well, if you slightly retarget this aspect- it would be very useful to group Z that you haven’t considered.

If you don’t feel like finishing maybe do something else for awhile. Like ask potential customers for feedback, or show trusted friends what you have so far. You may be missing social feedback that can help reinvigorate the purpose of finishing.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if it is a flop. See how it could be changed, or try finding customers before building next time so you are in constant feedback loop.

Some founders on YC are also open to providing feedback- it could be that you need validation or criticism from someone you respect.

Maybe your self is protesting for some reason. What does finishing this particular project means to you? Maybe you should take a small break and create a mental distance. Try to forget your ideas about software and business and listen to your personal specific needs

Thanks folks for the words of encouragement! It's bedtime here in Melbourne and I am exhausted so I have to go to bed so I can't respond, but please, say what you think I need to hear to put on the final spurt and get this damn thing finished.

(For a moment I wondered if Reddit was redesigned to look like HN).

Send someone $5000 on the term that he will need to send it back in X days once you can prove that the project is done. Otherwise he gets the $$$

OP is not asking for advice. OP needs a cheerleader. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Good point. But just in case, here is some past advice from HN, where there is discussion about motivation, and where making sure the ladder is leaning against the right wall might be relevant:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29446859 "Please Give Me Advice ... Can’t make myself do anything anymore"

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22129921 "Procrastination is about managing emotions, not time"

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23452651 "Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?"

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28867645 "Ask HN: What's the Point of Life?"

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23553508 (part of https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23550758 "Ask HN: How do you develop internal motivation?")

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19708786 (part of "Ask HN: What are good resources for life advice?" at https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19650044 )

And maybe: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29266094 " Ask HN: Career progression vs. meaningful/appealing products?"

Stop thinking about starting and start. (from your other comments, you don't look exhausted)

Dude, you can do this! We’re pulling for you! If you need a sounding board see my profile for contact info.

Read "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. This book is about exactly this kind of resistance.

I'd recommend avoiding it. Its a rather harmful book about some guy's ramblings, ignorance, and religious beliefs. Its the same book that states that Hitler started WW2 because he could not start on a new canvas, as well as the book stating that mental-heath disorders were made up by marketing companies to sell you stuff. I really dont know how you could recommend this for self-help.

Just here to point out that you don’t “summon” strength… you “muster” it

You can do it! :)

I always recommend games as first project. Game is the only piece of software that is ever finished.

This is about my 20th personal project. Most of them pretty big. I finish them all usually.