You need a VERY good reason to use anything except PHP. Perhaps Rust. These technologies are good enough to get almost anything done these days.
Additionally the standard request model of PHP (like with PHP-FPM) is a fast, efficient, and easy to learn model of request for new developers. Easily scalable new processes that are cleared at the end of the request. It seems like this is something people try to emulate with the “server less” model but PHP was built for this and is quite efficient at it.
And it's not even true that Haskell cannot be on that list for any sane human. Admittedly, it's not on MY list, but that's just me. Popularity isn't the end of things, nor is it set in stone. Agda or TLA+ aren't very common, but neither are problems they are meant to solve. Neither is Verilog, but it's not even an alternative to anything popular. And Ruby wasn't popular before Rails. Then it was, then it wasn't again. I thought that I was done with Java, but then Android became a thing. I guess you get the point.
…I think I'd like if there was only 1 language for everything, but I don't think it's even remotely possible, because then there would be different dialects of that EsperantoPL, different frameworks or ways to use it, and people would never agree on 1 thing anyway.
All the world is not a web app...
Yeah, like for instance: nobody knows or wants to know PHP.