I can just ghost you. The only obligatory relationship possible between us is either of blood or money. As a private individual, I don’t really owe you anything. You have the previlege of not having to use my work, or fork it and make it your own.
No we can't agree on that. There is no obligation to be polite.
Of course I wouldn't expect people to love me for that, and it's not how I personally act; but if someone felt like acting in this way, it would be fully within his/her rights to do so.
My point is that the way he chooses to behave is in the long run damaging to the community that he founded and leads.
You are somehow deciding that collaboration is needed and wanted by every maintainer.
That's your (wrong) assumption.