You're not ignoring those people. By signing up for the registry you can be matched against anyone who needs it. Whether Amit finds a donor or not (fingers crossed) his drive to get people tested will help other South Asian leukemia patients.
Sure, my registration in the database will help to match me against other people in need, but it doesn't inform me of people who are in need that I don't match.
See, that's what I mean. I feel guilty that I can't tell others about the thousands of people who are also in need. And really, even if I knew who all these other people were, my friends and family would get terribly annoyed that I would be telling them all about hundreds or thousands of other people in need.
See the problem? We care about Amit because he's high profile (and I'm glad we are trying!), but we do very little for the more 'anonymous' types. That's where my guilt comes in.
So many people have told me throughout my life that I need to just ignore it, and you can't save the world. I can't help but think that's just their way of trying to invalidate any guilt of their own, even if they're right that it's not possible to help everyone everywhere.
Though that's why I invest on Kiva, because I can help make an impact in a "starving" part of the world helping to build up economies so the people can take care of themselves, rather than solely relying on financial donations.
Feeling guilty isn't solving the problem, however. Guilt is just a pre-cursor to either resolve or apathy. If you don't do anything about it, you either get into a loop of guilt-> apathy-> guilt or you choose to ignore the problem (as you say your friends do).
Any action you take towards true progress for those in need, no matter how small, is good.
"The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step"
My original intention for discussing my guilt was that I know it's a common feeling, and I wonder why so many people take action/interest for high profile cases. It's likely the overwhelming sense of apathy towards "saving the world" that people zoom in on particular people that they're familiar with.
But I still can't help feeling guilty for trying to help someone I know, versus a very needy person I don't. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to not feel this way. Ignoring the emotion only seems to bury it, only for it to resurface in the future (similar to your guilt->apathy->guilt cycle). One thing is sure though, even after I help someone, I still feel the sense of guilt and frustration that pairs knowing the rest of the world is still in need.
Like you said, any progress, no matter how small, is good!
Though that's why I invest on Kiva, ...
Do you feel like you're not making enough of a difference? You're already helping more people than most people out there.
So no, you don't have any ethical obligation what so ever toward somebody else. Even if eating out of your garbage could save their life you would be well within your rights to decline.
But really once you stop feeling like it is your responsibility to do something for anybody, no matter how great their need or how trivial it is for you, you feel so much better -- and you can still help somebody if you want to. You just have no obligation.
Alternately if you 'can't tell others about the thousands of people who are also in need' then yes you are guilty and should probably figure out something else useful for humanity that your conscience/selfulness lets you do.
I do not know the names, locations, or other pieces of information about the thousands of other people who are also in need. We know Amit. Without knowing their names and locations, there is absolutely no way to bring the same class of attention to them. There is no way to build a website highlighting one of the thousands of other people, nor is there a way to make it personable and striking to others to get involved.
Amit is lucky because he has a community of people who are making excellent efforts to find him a match. That's fantastic!
The guilt comes in when I know that it's just not possible (or sustainable) to do the same thing for all of the other people in his shoes.
I am a little sad that my message was misinterpreted and it sounded like I was full of "selfulness" --- but I'm hoping it was just a miscommunication.
I could ask them once, twice, maybe even ten times over the course of a year. But beyond that, it begins to mirror harassment. It's just not sustainable for one person to broadcast that many repetitive messages.
Though, I sure wish I could make the same efforts to tell people about each individual of the thousand other people in need, as I have about Amit.
It's unfortunately, just not realistic :|