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I have a similar fun conspiracy theory, that Satoshi is actual an alien farmer that injected the whitepaper into its human farm to get humanity's tensor calculation capacity up, and now injected PoS to switch the capacity over to AI for some ineffable purpose.

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Satoshi is actually a time traveling Roko's Basilisk creating itself.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Roko%27s_basilisk

If you and your parent comment are correct, then anyone who owned bitcoin or ethereum before the PoS launch has helped out the basilisk, and anyone who didn't had better do something to catch up. Something besides buying crypto, since that phase of the basilisk's plan is complete.

t h e b a s i l i s k surely retained keys to the early satoshi bitcoins to fund a yet-to-be-known financial need.

Well I bought a fair shair of drugs with bitcoin so I'm good I guess

Mine was always: "Everyone laughed at the young NSA intern Satoshi that he could convince the worlds criminal enterprises to open their financial books to the world."

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