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This is almost always the case, no matter the service we're talking about.

Is this how we ended up with electron for desktop applications and Java for backend?

Yes, because developers and expensive and so developer productivity dominates almost everything else.

Also, "pick what you know" applies here, too. If you know NGINX, then all you get from switching to Caddy is experience, and likewise, vice versa.

*and memory safety*

This cannot be understated. Caddy is not written in C! And it can even run your NGINX configs. :) https://github.com/caddyserver/nginx-adapter

A solution in search of a problem.

Nginx security page [0] lists a non-zero amount of exploitable issues rooted in manual memory management.